you wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

well i hear valhalla is quite lovely this time of year...

It being good would fix me

Dexter Grif the philosopher, everyone

Autism be damned my man can work a grill

Early days in Blood Gulch, with Church trying to figure out how to use the tank for an actual purpose and Tucker talking about picking up chicks is literally just-

Church; *making a vague attempt to be responsible even though he's 50 shades of jaded

Tucker; We should be at the cluuuuuuuub

Tex is ace but engages in BDSM because stepping on pathetic men is fun

Too nervous to send this to my boyfriend, so you all get this at four forty in the morning instead.

Something something contact training.

Someone’s probably done this already, but whatever, O’Malley’s funny

tucker and wash pin? sticker? idk something designs

blue team: can they cook?

tucker: no. he's not the WORST, it'll be atleast somewhat edible, but he's still not allowed to cook. ever. like, ever.

church: yes and he's very valuable to them for this alone. they would have already starved in blood gulch without him. maybe not the best food but when you're on blue team, it is.

caboose: ok predictable but absolutely not no way in hell he can cook. he tries to help but they all have to usher him out (emphasis on everyone, he's a big boy)

wash: this one's a less common but honestly no. he's been in the military since he was 18 he cannot cook food for shit. i've already made a post on this but he's tried before for the blues and like. that was literally the closest he's ever been to death in his life, and he's a FREELANCER. he's not allowed in the kitchen without active supervision, and you would not believe the amount of protein powder this man has

carolina: also no. you think she had the time to learn how to cook? you're funny. i think she's learning, but it's a slow process, a very slow process. leave it to carolina to know everything but how to cook

tex: i mean, yeah, why not. she knew as a person and a robot. i like to think she made caboose sandwichs in the early seasons (because i love tex/caboose as a duo)

kai: yes and it concerns her that nobody else knows how to. and not just like knows, she's REALLY good at cooking since she's been cooking since she was young. she's blue teams savior (except she's never there so theyre still in distress LOL)

honorary doc: yes but he's not a big help to blue team because he's vegan everything. he told them he can cook and they let him. they were very disappointed when he started very delicately explaining how he substituted just about everything out of a typical dish for something vegan. (and it wasn't even good either, like he makes the food so bad other vegans would rather eat a fucking burger than his food)

in conclusion: they steal the reds food primarily

They added a PLAYABLE Red Vs Blue Mission to Halo 3...

Chex

this ai guy can generate any clothes he wants and he seriously chooses this

grimmons commission for @jschlatt ^^

muted ver under the cut