Another reason why I’m a firm believer in letting Bruce get old is because the idea of him looking and his dark haired children without his glasses on and genuinely not being able to tell them apart is unparalleled
HC an actual real forensic psychologist interviews Joker, and realizes he does not meet the legal requirements for being mentally unfit to stand trial (TRUE), and the jury finds he does not meet the requirements for criminal insanity (TRUE) and he is sentenced to death and just like actually successfully executed by Belle Reve Penitentiary.
Batman's official statement "I do not kill. However, I do not give formal statements in political issues, such as the death penalty. If Joker escapes, I will send him back to Belle Reve, regardless of whatever sentencing he receives. I am a Vanguard. I am not a New Jersey Apex Court Justice. Sentencing is outside my jurisdiction or personal interests. Thank you."
Orphan's statement is "I believe wholeheartedly in the sanctity of life. However, I am not opposed to euthanasia."
Red Hood gets hired as a literal Seasonal Summer Worker for Belle Reve, and stands guard.
Barbara Gordon gets hired as Belle Reve Archivist.
Duke Thomas speaks publicly about the Justice System's constant ignorance of the realities of Mental Illness, and the pathologization of acts of violence as mental illness, as well as how white men are frequently given passes for violence by the justice system.
The Joker is executed on April 1st. He is cremated, and his ashes are used in compost alongside goat and pig manure.
Dr. Harleen Quinzel is tried as well, and actually found criminally insane, and after 1 year in psychiatric hospital, and triweekly therapy, she has shown proof of improvement and rehabilitation, 2 years after that, her licensure is reinstated. Instead of going into patient practice, she does psychiatric research, and publishes several papers on the interactions of PTSD and psychotic disorders, as well as developing counseling treatments for domestic abuse and cult survivors.
"Jokes on You Day" becomes a national holiday.
the thing that makes all the batsiblings dynamics hilarious is the fact that they all started out as only children and then had constant shifting roles. normally when your parents have other children you have the period of pregnancy and then a baby to adjust to but with them it was just sudden
Dick went from an only child for eighteen years to an older brother and then lost that brother and then gained a bunch more siblings.
Jason went from an only child, to the youngest of two, to the second oldest.
Cass went from an only child to a shifting family dynamic of being a middle child (i don’t know her age because of how it constantly changes but it’s somewhere between Tim and Jason).
Tim went from an only child, to the youngest of two - then the youngest of three - then a middle child.
Damian was an only child and then suddenly the youngest of six.
Duke was an only child and now he’s in a family where he’s the second youngest with four older siblings.
It’s such a funny dynamic to me
little big sister, big little brother
Tim: Hey, do you know the password to Damian’s computer?
Duke: Fuck you, Tim.
Tim: Hey!!
Duke: No, you misunderstood, the password is "fuckyouTim".
Tim: Oh, no numbers? Not very safe.
—
Reader: Get on my level!
Steph: Unfortunately, to "get on your level" I'd need a boat trip to the Mariana Trench and a pair of cinderblock shoes.
—
*Dick is fighting a monster*
Barbara : Just stay calm! You already have everything you need to beat it!
Dick: The power to believe in myself!?
Barbara : No, a knife! Stab it!
—
Reader: Sorry I'm late, I was doing stuff.
Jason: YOU PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!
—
Damian: Tim, this morning, I called you abhorrent and reprehensible, and I’d like to withdraw that statement-
Tim: Aww, thanks-
Damian: But I can't. Those are the 2 words that best describe you.
—
Reader: So, Steph is no longer allowed to take the trash out at night.
Cassandra: Why?
Reader: Because I've caught her trying to train raccoons to fight five times in a row.
Steph, arms crossed and pouting: You'll be thanking me when the third raccoon battalion saves your ass.
this was supposed to be a simple doodle page.....
Crack HC, because is there any other kind?
Bruce realises embarrassingly late that his Batkids can’t swim.
Gotham’s beach water is pure chemicals and sewage, and the city’s public school funding doesn’t exactly prioritise teaching kids to swim. Steph, Duke and Jason had never seen a swimming pool before meeting Bruce.
Tim’s parents meant to sign him up for swim lessons after he fell into their indoor fountain when he was three and nearly drowned - it would have been so embarrassing if it happened when they had guests! - but forgot.
So Bruce is like. Oh no my baby-soldiers must learn to swim.
Damian insists that since the League trained him to withstand waterboarding, he’s fine. Bruce pulls a muscle in his cheek from clenching his jaw so hard.
Dick insists that he can swim and manages one impressive mermaid-style undulation before becoming disoriented and slamming into the wall.
Duke covers himself in floaties and clings to a pool noodle for dear life, eschewing dignity because “this isn’t how I die”.
Conversely, Tim sinks like a stone, curls up on the bottom of the pool, and waits for death.
Cass, with the lowest body fat percentage, also sinks but manages to squeeze into one of the drains. She re-emerges six hours later in an estuary in New Jersey.
Steph refuses to let go of the wall by the deep end, scuttling away like a crab when Bruce tries to poke her into the water with a skimmer net.
Jason scoffs at them all and manages a perfect swan dive before flailing and crashing into Steph, causing both of them to panic and use each other as ladders to get out.
Alfred asks Barbara for the security camera footage and makes everyone watch it twice a year to keep their egos in check.
Headcanon that the real reason all the other Justice Leaguer's avoid Gotham is because there is a running joke with the Gotham press that every hero in Gotham is either Batman, or a Robin.
Superman stops an attack drone from burning down a city block?
NOPE! News headlines read "Is Robin's new ability to fly proof he's really a vampire??"
Black Canary busts a smuggling ring?
"Batman's second female Robin. Will she last longer than the first?
Green Arrow catches a bank robber?
"Green Robin's facial hair and exactly what citizens think about it, page 3."
mi familia 🦇
*chanting* if you didn't see the body the character isn't dead, if you didn't see the body the character isn't dead, if you didn't see the body the character isn't dead
the batkids morality codes:
dick: Everybody deserves kindness
jason: everybody deserves a second chance
Damain: there is a better way
Cass: I can be better
tim: i don't want to be evil gun batman
Honestly, gotta respect that out of all the bats, literally Jason and Cass are the only ones who don’t have a civilian-sona. They don’t do shit as their legal identities (assuming Jason even has one). They’re job is to look pretty and that’s it.